I’m not sure whether or not people do this innocently or maliciously but either way it is annoying and frustrating to say the least.
Being a single guy who happens to be blind and from what I’m told, not to bad looking but you can judge for yourself, I am often presented with the awkward moments during dating when the physical touch occurs. Now, to take a step back for a moment to talk about leading up to this moment, most people are attracted to a certain type of look and it is what usually sparks interest and likewise for the opposite, there are the looks that can just turn one away. Of course nothing can replace a caring, wicked funny, lovable, adoring partner but we all have a certain level of natural instinct for matching ourselves with a compatible partner and unfortunately more times than not the visual has a huge part in this. Cleanliness, presentability, mannerisms, habits, patterns, we sub-consciously take these things into considering when the possibility of a partner comes into the picture whether or not we are actively seeking them out.
Being blind however, we lose that whole part of the mating ritual and unfortunately, based on my own personal experience, people will take advantage of this fact and embellish what they might look like. I can’t be the only blind person who has had someone describe what they look like to me and sometimes they are just way off.
To give a little background, I wasn’t born blind. I lost my sight in my early twenties so I have a real good idea and memory of what I consider “My Type”. Some people may have those close enough to them to let you know just what you’re getting into and you’re lucky for that and many of us truly do look for the inner beauty because that is just the natural state of that person but when it comes down to that moment where all the cards are on the table and all truth is revealed, either the other person was honest in the beginning with you or not.
This is where I put a lot of stock in my ideal partner. Regardless of what they look like, if they are completely honest from the get go about what they look like then that is a keeper. Also if they don’t insist on telling you what they look like or consistently ask you if you want to know. For some reason this just rubs me the wrong way or perhaps won’t rub me at all.
In any other situation it is already difficult to find the right person but to add a disability on top of that, we have to take even more precautions and steps to make sure we make the right choices.
What really gets me is when that moment comes in the heat of passion and their description is now on display, do they think you have forgotten what they said they looked like or just hope you will go along with a lustful non-meaningful night? I personally don’t understand the thought behind it except that it is an in the moment little white lie and they hope we’ll just forget and forgive but I still can’t get passed that initial lie. Sorry ladies.
I know it may seem like there is a lot of visual attraction mentions in this article but I want to make clear that it really isn’t about the looks but more about how the other person sees themselves from your eyes. I’d rather avoid those who would try to do or say what they think I would like them to do or say and look. This I feel and has for me led to inevitable breakups.
I’m a listener and remember just about everything when I’m in listening mode and as soon as inconsistencies arise, Spidey senses go off, red flags fly, and flares fire off.
So no, it’s not about looks for me. It’s about finding a truly honest and loving of others and oneself.